Mom...

It amazes me the way things go sometimes. I don't even really know where to begin explaining this, so I probably just won't. I have been more scared the last five years of my life and I don't even know why. I have nothing to fear. I have dug myself in ditches and stood on great peaks, literally. Fallen further than anyone could have seen or even assumed, but yet still here I am. Learning. Moving. Growing. And I know now more than ever, that's all that matters. And I know now, that I knew nothing then. I thought the struggles I had already survived would be enough for me to hold close and make worth the rest of life. It wasn't. I needed to make myself struggle more. Not in the Bukowski sorta way, just needed to find my own bottom, so I knew which way was the right up for me. I know now, more than any moment in the thirty one years before it, that everything is gonna be just fine. Faith. Love. Understanding. These words now have meaning. The steps I take these days are paid attention to more than any taken before them. I wouldn't have been able to do it with out your reflection. Thanks for choosing me, cause I'm sure glad I chose you.