You’re stuck with me.
Another set of words that spun their little web.
That left me feeling enlightened, in a world brightened to
no end. They put me in a place where I
had what I sought. There’s me, my little butterfly net in hand, returning home
at dusk, comforted by the being I had caught. I wasn't trying to ensnare this gorgeous so
and so in a trap. But I never thought …to
let the lovin come back to me…..would end with my heart……. catching another
bitch slap.
I was more careful entering the arena this go round. I conversed with the occupant several times,
let my senses gain awareness, and sought the thoughts of those I trusted with
the solidness of ground.
So when these words pressed upon the softness of my inside, I let them settle over me safe and sound, for this soul, I’d walk with pride, to have the chance to be bound. Deeper down this rabbit hole would only bring forth more foretold notions of what was meant to be. That together, we would touch, taste, smell and see all the worlds’ beauty.
Not that there would be… no discomfort…. I am no fairytale
follower, or day dream chaser. I know the harsh sting of the worlds deep dark
pits impalement. But here I found a
partner, one who states, relates and debates all the things that bring elation
and ailment. There were so many things I didn’t have to explain. To spell
out. To write in neon signs. The reverse being true as well.
Then, little by little, the universe started asking its age
old question. Not just through thought, but by outside actions inception. Is this situation sustainable? Would freeing
yourself for something better be too much to mention? Is the future for you
both attainable? I have faced this bitter barrage of bargaining before. And
know all too well what happens when you sell yourself out to its answers. It
becomes like cancer, manifesting in places you never thought could be occupied.
It will try to divide you. Once doubt comes into play, you will become like
atreyu pulling at artax in the saddest swamps of existence. Unless you give up all resistance and let the
ego go. And say yes, this is what I want! I’ll give it the attention it requires, and
let the energy flow.
And this is where my pain sets in the most, not that it’s a boastful topic……but I’m easy. Just give me little morsels here and there and we’re square. But when I get the lack there of, love becomes occupied by a sense of strain, resulting in the emaciation of occulents in the self octave part of my brain. I will over apply lessons that resemble this in past existence. And think that my actions are the persistence of what brought this play to stage. That put the cast members in motion. That wrote the script. Which, with no fault fallen upon the facilitator, leaves me fumbling. Feeling once again….. out of love.
So the choice is only mine to make…….. to forsake these villainous voices of vanity. To stand with
arms and heart open, brush harsh thoughts aside, and offer this grand gesture
of humanity
And let it be known
that my love is given….Unlimited…… Unconditional…… Always.
Which means now……. you’re stuck with me.
