Oh, my how these days have changed. This time of year used
to be so different for me.
It used to mean busy sections and crappy tips.
Angry
fathers and nagging wives.
Spoiled sons and cranky daughters.
Strong cocktails
and cold fish.
These were days of clueless tourists who didn’t realize or possibly even care that
I might have a family I’d like to be with. But in those
unchanged days my sense of family was thin at best.
We were all scattered
amongst the frozen tundra and barely shared phone calls or hallmark greetings
to celebrate our connections. There were no Christmas trees or planned out
feasts, at least none that we could claim as our own.
No these days meant busy nights to slave away
and follow the age old formula – Sleep< Work<Whiskey<Beer-REPEAT–
Sleep< Work<Whiskey<Beer-REPEAT.
We’d organize white elephant with
co-workers just to feel some sort of normalcy. Little whisper circles would
form while we discussed who was going to swap for Steve’s bottle of scotch or
the jealousy that swelled for Nancy and her gift certificate to the fancy
restaurant we already gave all of our time to.
You began to feel trapped in a
vortex where everyone celebrated a season that to you only meant more tables,
more tourists and more cold, cold weather. There were no holiday concerts or
intimate gatherings to look forward to. No stockings would be stuffed and
dismantled with glee. There were no boxes stacked and wrapped in shiny silver
and gold. No, year after year these days only brought a cold feeling, a warm
bed and more whiskey.
My, how these days have changed.
Now as these moments roll
in I find myself giving gifts I actually put thought in to. Searching the
virtual halls of A to Z while trying to save on free shipping. There are
cookies and cakes being baked and shared. Plate after plate of elaborate meals
are being served to me instead of by me.
Fantastic and familiar faces are
gracing my presence with warm thoughts and genuine intentions. I am cherishing
my nights instead of trading them with tourists for bad tips and a little more
whiskey, though I don’t mind the whiskey still hanging out from time to time.
But these days have changed their meaning in this age. As family has expanded
and moved closer, the chosen members that have been added form strong bonds to take
the place of grouchy children, while warm hearts help fill the void of frozen
nights. I find myself with more gatherings than I even have the time to
attend and more gifts than I ever imagined I could wrap. There are festivities
to revel in and trees to decorate. Plans to make and a family to relish them
with. These changed days have brought a bit of amazingness with them, and maybe
just a tiny bit of whiskey to sip.
