Ho'oponopono

First let me start by saying, I am writing this because it is the easiest way for me to purvey the thoughts in my head. I am so much better a writer then an oral speaker. Second, I am typing this because if I wrote it by hand, I would be concerned that you would only understand half of it. That being stated………

Know that I love you immensely. I never have had the intention to bring you any pain or frustration, however when you are close to someone, that is not necessarily the way things happen. Over the last two and half years, you and I have shared some wonderful experiences as well as some struggles. While that is par for the course, it is not always the best way to have things happen. It is not easy, and I am not asking it to be. Perhaps that is what you want, I don’t know. There is no way to know that if you don’t express it. As I have stated before I am willing to put what ever effort I need to into all of my relationships, not just this one, to make them flow better. I can not, however, feel like that is not reciprocated, or it will result in resentment and frustration. That is not fair to anyone.

I am sorry if I ever made you feel less than wonderful, because you are and it was never my intention. Perhaps I am not as perceptive to your needs as I should be. That is something I am still learning. I am sorry if I ever let you down, or didn’t live up to your true expectations. Again, that is a lesson I am still learning and would ask nothing more than the patience and understanding it requires to accompany one on life’s lessons. That is your choice, however, and would not want you to feel like I am robbing you of it. There have been many times in the past, more so recently, where I have put your well being in front of choices for myself. I am not stating this to incite any type of guilt or less self worth. I know there were also times when I made choices solely for my self. While I was honest with you the majority of the time, I am sorry for the few times I was not. I am sorry if I did not have enough foresight to truly bring you the comfort and happiness you deserve. I am sorry if my choices ever made you feel like you were where you didn’t want to be.

I would ask nothing more than for your forgiveness. Forgiveness for all of the things I have stated to be sorry for, and anything I may have said or done to hurt you in any way. You are one of the most special people I have ever met, and I know you are and always will be a marvelous person. I understand you have reached a point in your life where you are unsure of what direction to move in. That you have doubts about the person I am and the state of our relationship. I also know what it’s like to sabotage your personal situation for an easy way out. To make choices that may not be fortuitous to your personal strength and growth, but to be so unsure and sad, that it makes great sense in the moment. I would ask that you forgive me in not being able to guide you better through those moments, and if I was not readily available when you needed me.

I would like nothing more than to thank you. Thank you for being you, and all the happiness and growth you have brought into my life to this point and hopefully in the times to come. Thank you for showing me the things I need to focus on in myself and any emotions or patterns I have been able to recognize in myself by having you here. I truly could not have done that with out you. Thank you for showing all the support you have and all the strength you carry every day. I have absolutely no ill feelings or thoughts towards you or about you. I do not think less of you or judge you because of the choices you have made, and I would only ask the same in return. I will continue this life with the upmost gratitude for having you in my life. If the most we can continue to be is friends, then I am ok with that, as long as it is nothing less. I will always hold you close to my heart. As I mentioned, no judgment will be attached to you in any way. Thank you for taking the time to share all the moments with me.